I am extremely depressed.

I don't even know where to begin. I have so many emotions going on right now. I am physically and mentally exhausted. Everything in my life right now is so stressed. I'm at risk of losing my job because I ran out of FMLA time. I can't miss any more time until November or I'll get fired. That is enough stress already. Add that to the fact that Joe still doesn't have a job, creditors are calling wanting their money that is owed to them, having to find a place to live in less than 2 months, having little to no money to get things, pay bills and save for a new place to live. I'm about to go crazy!

Joe had an interview yesterday at Charter and was told he'd hear something yesterday or today. Well, he hasn't heard anything yet. It's not looking good. Joe even told me that there were other people in the lobby the day he was there doing testing and interviewing. So, with there only being 3 slots open, it's not looking so good for Joe. I'm just depressed by it. I just cannot believe that this is happening again. 2 months ago, he had 4 interviews with Comcast and didn't get the job. It's really taking a toll on everything. Why is it so difficult to get a job? I don't get it.

Kids are out of school now and the arguing, fighting and bickering has begun. I'm going nuts just having to listen to all the noise from their. Why can't they just get along? If I had the energy, I'd be out doing things with them on my days off. Their room is a mess. I try to get them to do something and they don't want to do anything. It's rather frustrating.

House is trashed. We have to get it cleaned up and start getting things packed up for when we move. The major stress with this is that it is so cluttered that I don't even know where to begin. I need some help to get things picked up and packed away. Then, it's a matter of where we are going to move. I don't have any money to move on so it makes it difficult all the way around. I just don't know what to do in that aspect. Granted, I get a paycheck, but most of the time, it is gone to bills, groceries, bank fees or for something fun to do.

Then, creditors keep calling about collection bills for medical and some other accounts. I just don't have the money to make any kind of arrangement. How can I pay them off when my income is limited and basically gone before I receive a paycheck. I don't even know what to do about that anymore.

The stress is building again very badly. I am afraid that if things don't change really, really soon, that it's only going to get worse.

I just want to scream!!!!!!!!!!! I have been trying to only focus my energies on my job and not worry about the rest of things but it is not an easy task. I've been doing okay but then something will come up and the stress happens all over again.

In fact, I wasn't even told that I'd only be getting a partial check for tomorrow until Tuesday. Well, that's just great. I have all of my June bills to pay, NSF checks that need to clear, plus gas for 2 wks. I am already into my overdraft protection but it is not helping. I really need some money or win the lotto, which I know will not happen. I can't really ask my family because they don't have money either. Times are hard right now. No one has money to lend. I just wish there was an easy answer.

I haven't been focusing on my health like I am supposed to. I'm supposed to be eating a healthy diet due to my diabetes but haven't been for the last few months. I haven't lost any more weight either. I have to get things in order or my health is going to take a turn for the worse again.

I guess that's about all I can write for now. I just wish I had answers. :(